Daddy I want a Golden Statue NOW!

Dear Anne Hathaway, your Oscar strategy is as obvious as your acting. We know you feel you were robbed of an Oscar for ‘Rachel Getting Married.’ And we know you felt you should have been nominated for ‘Love and other Drugs’ (you did after all take your clothes off, which usually works for Kate Winslet). And we completely know you tried incredibly hard as an Oscar host, and blame James Franco’s morose, seemingly stoned delivery for yet another epic Academy failure. But it’s clear you think the Academy voters will easily fall for your Les Mis Oscar strategy for playing Fantine (which, from the trailer, looks like you’ve bastardized one of musicals’ greatest characters, turning her from a soft, sympathetic, tragic heroine, into a facially contorting, pushing drama for drama’s sake, down and out) just because you had your hair cut off (you could have done a wig, but you figured that isn’t as dramatic a story to tell the press,) and you dramatically starved for the role (because that’s an Oscar worthy big deal too that only the truly committed great actors do). Right? The sad thing is it’ll probably work at least to get you a nom. Amanda Seyfried and Samantha Barks look pitch perfect, but dear Annie, you took the whole ‘Les Miserables’ thing too much to heart because your performance and hair look miserable indeed! We wish Tom Hooper had cast Emmy Rossum instead.

Oh and p.s. Olivia Wilde would have been a better Catwoman.

photo via altfg